Sneaky woman
by Sexysaxist
Summary: Van Pelt and Lisbon gang up on Jane and rattle his confidence. Silly, with slight Van Rigsby. one shot- complete. mild language.


Disclaimer: The Mentalist is the creative property of Bruno Heller, CBS and it's affiliates.

A/N: So I'd intended to write something totally different, but my muse took a sharp left turn and went window shopping, and since I am attached to her by one of those kiddie leashes, this is what we found. Still working on that other story, but Muse saw a sale on the Jane rack.

"You're lucky he can't feel you do that"

_Crap_. Grace slid a glare over Jane's direction. He'd caught her staring at Rigsby, who was down in a deep squat next to his desk, rifling through a box of files. His pants were pulled taut across his butt, his shirt molded to his back, and he was putting on a fine display indeed.

"Not that I blame you," Jane continued, "He is admittedly a rather nice specimen of manhood in a purely clinical sense. But if you aren't planning on encouraging his suit…don't let him catch you ogling."

"I wasn't ogling." Grace muttered before she could stop herself. She wasn't sure why she even bothered. Just like the borg, resistance, or arguing in this case, was futile.

"Then what would you call it?" Out came that damn know-it-all grin.

"Not ogling. Ogling you can feel."

"Oh, now I'm interested. Tell me the difference." Now he brought out the cat-that-got-the-canary grin.

"You can always tell when a woman is giving you the eye right? It's almost like a homing beacon for you"

"OK" Grin still in place

"So how often do _I_ give _you_ the eye?"

Jane's grin slipped a little. "You don't. You're too busy watching Rigsby"

"Hmmm." Now it was Graces turn for the know-it-all smile. "Which means you can't feel it. So it isn't ogling."

Jane looked rather taken aback. "You check me out Grace?"

"Guess somebody doesn't pay attention." She threw at him.

Lisbon and Cho rounded the corner into the bullpen. Now that the whole team was there, and Jane could recover his composure by embarrassing someone else, he called out to Lisbon in a loud enough voice for the entire office to hear "Lisbon, did you know Van Pelt checks me out?"

"YES" everybody chimed in at the same time.

"Really?" Jane looked around at everyone, now rather baffled.

Cho chimed in, unable to resist the unprecedented opportunity to tease Jane. "You mean you don't feel it? I thought you have radar or something for a woman's eyes on your ass. "

Lisbon came to stand next to Van Pelt. The expression on her face was far too smug. "Looks like we _can_ sneak something past you."

"We? What do you mean 'we'?" Jane looked between the girls, who were grinning like little kids.

"Guess you'll never know." Van Pelt taunted.

The girls desperately restrained their humor at finding Patrick Jane at a loss for words on their account. They gave up after he fled to the lunch room to make a cup of tea and regain his composure. Rigsby sidled up to Grace's side, as Grace gave Lisbon a discreet high five.

"You don't really check Jane out that much do you?" Rigsby had moved to stand next to Grace so he wouldn't have to speak very loud. His heart was in his throat waiting for her answer. He felt a small measure of relief when she unleashed his second favorite smile, the one where she was going to let him in a joke that wasn't at his expense.

"Jane? No…no, not him. Jane isn't the one who catches my eye." Grace's grin got even bigger. "I'm so glad you boys are quick on the uptake and follow Lisbon's lead, whether you realize it or not."

Rigsby gave Grace and Lisbon a sideways look, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "Van Pelt, if you aren't checking out Jane, then what exactly was that all about?"

Grace met Lisbon's eyes, and both ladies eyes twinkled with mischievous delight. "Jane doesn't know that. And I think it will take at least two days for him to figure out we pulled a fast one on him. How could I pass it up?"

Rigsby leaned in and gave Grace a nudge with his shoulder, glad he could be a part of a joke on Jane, however unwitting his role in it was. "How indeed."

Rigsby went back over to the file box he was digging through before the show stopping drama started, and squatted back down to pick up where he'd left off. He froze as he replayed Grace's conversation, his mind catching on a throw away comment. "Van Pelt…" Rigsby glanced over his shoulder and caught Grace staring at his ass before she could look away "what did you mean ' Jane isn't the one'?"

"Huh?"

Rigsby watched with barely concealed glee as Grace dropped a mask of innocence on her face when she answered him. But it wasn't fast enough, and he knew where her eyes as been. Grace was right, it wasn't ogling. He never felt her hard hungry stare. Just like Jane, he was going to have to pay more attention to that girl. Grace was far sneaker than he'd give her credit for.


End file.
